Keyed energy
unlock the cock.
Annihilate your autism with our bold, invigorating blend. Designed to fuel your body and calm your mind, KEYED is the ultimate drink for those who live on the edge.
We aren’t legally allowed to say that this drink “treats anxiety”
But hey, I’m not legally “allowed” to drink and drive as I type these words into my phone, yet here I am. KEYED will take the edge off. It’ll ease tension, alleviate stress, and reduce everyday nervousness. But we PROMISE not to let it touch the sacred stranger-danger private place where you store your anxiety.™ You should only let your doctor touch you there. *
.png)
Introducing
our first flavor: AGENT ORANGE
Experience a refreshing burst of citrus flavor, uniquely crafted to both energize and calm simultaneously. Keyed offers a pure, clean energy boost without ingredients that make your balls shrink.
Ridiculously Serious Quality.
Our commitment to quality is unmatched. It's literally the only thing we take seriously. Being best in class is not easy or cheap. I wish we sold garbage. I’d probably make more money. Crafted with natural ingredients and a decade-refined supplement stack, our drink is your perfect companion for any occasion.
CBD
.png)
RANDOM WORDS OF PRAISE...
Maybe they are accurate - maybe not....It's the thought that counts.
“The supplement stack made my ball grow back, plus an extra one. Now I have THREE balls! Thanks KEYED!”
Lance Armstrong
“Dear Diary, my situation isn’t so bad thanks to our supply of KEYED energy. Honestly, I feel pretty chill about the whole thing.”
Anne Frank
“KEYED is why over 17 million of you are my direct descendants.”
Genghis Khan
Join the drinkvolution
Follow us on social media for the latest updates, memes, and more from the Keyed community.
